Chemistry student

I'm teaching the new organic chemistry student about functional groups. We reach aldehydes, and consider the formula of formaldehyde. I ask him what the next aldehyde would be called.

The student looks up, and with the innocent expression of the true imp, says: "Informaldehyde?"

Useful chemical

The Chemistry teacher told the class that they would now be told the uses of the chemicals they had been studying.

"For example, do you know where benzene is used?" she asked.

She was surprised when Chantu raised his hand.

"Yes, ma'm," he said. "It is used in making Mercedes Benzes."

Chemistry lesson

The teacher asked, "What is the full name of the chemical KMnO4?"

The student chirpily replied, "It's potassium, magnesium and lots of oxygen!"

The teacher sarcastically asked, "If Mn is magnesium, what's Mg then?" Ha! Gotcha!

"Simple!" chortled the student. "It's milligrams!" D-uh!

Acid comments

Once there was a couple who lived away from major and minor settlements, in fact, bluntly, they lived in the jungle.

Over time, they started getting really famous for holiness, of all things. This seemed strange at first, since they were invariable short, snappish and downright vinegarish in speaking to any visitors or passersby.

However, as the people in the nearest village pointed out while they feverishly constructed a vast commercial sanyasi ashram complex to capitalise on the growing reputation, you knew how holy they were when you realised they were full of ascetic acid, and how wise and brainy they were, because, as they said, "यह सब सिरका कमाल है."