A secret of Nandi statues

हर मंदिर में नंदी की मूर्ति के गले में घंटी क्यों होती है?

सिंपल. क्योंकि ही इज़ द डोर बैल.

Deftnition

Even the Mayans knew

Even the ancient Mayan civilisation knew...

If you were a poet and had a pauah, you would be tunn...

(Just look at their god of scribes)

[Pauah is Hindi for a quarter, tunn is totally drunk]

Ah-chhooo!

What do you say when a grammarian with a bad cold sneezes?




Gerund-heit

भौतिकी की कक्षा में

एक भौतिकी के छात्र के शिक्षक ने पूछा : "Relative speed क्या होता है?"

छात्र सोचने लगा, फिर उछल कर बोला: "मेरे रिश्तेदार बहुत तेज़ हैं!"

Raging about fair skin

When you don't understand this increasing anxiety about dark skin which leads to a demand for fairness creams, you bemusedly ask: "Why this kala worry, kala worry, kala worry, dear?"

What's to eat?

This one is from VR.

‎
"Hey Mom, what's there to eat?"

His Mom throws a stone at him.

"Hey! I just asked for something to eat!

Mom: "हम eat का जवाब पत्थर से देते हैं ..."

Satyajit Ray inspires

Satyajit Ray was a film maker known for his eye for detail. Also, because of his fame, many people were inspired by him in many ways. Once, on a set he commented that the lighting was bad and a little dog in one corner of a shot was looking a little green. This observation of his was later made into a song based on miya-malhaar, which goes "Bole Ray puppy hara..."


Thanks, AD!

Army officer's desire

Why did the dyed-in-the-wool Army Officer object to his wife calling him "Ay ji"?

Because he preferred "OG".


Thanks, AD!

Acid comments

Once there was a couple who lived away from major and minor settlements, in fact, bluntly, they lived in the jungle.

Over time, they started getting really famous for holiness, of all things. This seemed strange at first, since they were invariable short, snappish and downright vinegarish in speaking to any visitors or passersby.

However, as the people in the nearest village pointed out while they feverishly constructed a vast commercial sanyasi ashram complex to capitalise on the growing reputation, you knew how holy they were when you realised they were full of ascetic acid, and how wise and brainy they were, because, as they said, "यह सब सिरका कमाल है."

International dessert

"Name an international dessert."

"Simple! Global jamun."

Why Kalmadi?

In Kannada, 'madi' means 'do'.

So what were they thinking when they gave the job of completing the CWG preparations to someone named Kal-madi?

Eyjafjallajokull volcano

यह volcano तो ash कर रही है! पूरे Europe पर छा गयी है!

Google Engineer's brainchild

How does a Google Engineer introduce his/her new brainchild to the world?

"Hi, this is my beta!"

मेरे पैसे ... !

"हाय! हाय! मेरे पैसे डूब गए!"

"कहाँ डाले थे?"

"विदेश में।"

"अरे, कौन से देश में?"

"दुबई।"

"ले, यह तो नाम से ही सावधान होना चाहिए था!"

"???"

"और क्या--वहां नकद डूबाई जाती है..."

Weeping investor

"Oh, oh, oh! I lost all my money!"

"Where did you put it?"

"In a foreign country with high growth."

"Which one?"

"Dubai."

"Ha! You should have known from the name."

"From the name??"

"Ya, you know, paisa doobaye..."

A day at the mobile anti-beggary court

While the High Court considers whether beggary is in fact criminal behaviour, two mobile courts in Delhi continue to try vagrants and beggars in an attempt to show a more prosperous face in time for the Commonwealth Games.

At one of these courts, the police produced a donkey who was found wandering without a fixed destination.

"Clearly, a vagrant and beggar! Jail him!"

Next, two goats were produced in court, accused of tinkling their neck bells and trying to look cute.

"Guilty! Jail for them!"

Three cats who were playing musical instruments at traffic lights were next up, and the police were getting more confident.

"Beggars! Off to jail!"

Finally, in the last case of the day, 6 chickens were produced, along with witnesses who had heard them asking for money from passers-by. The police were ready to pack up for the day with a clean sweep.

"Not guilty! Release them."

Pandemonium. The public prosecutor rushed up, wringing her hands. "But why?"

"Beggars can't be चूजा s!"

When managers cannot delegate

"I wonder what do managers do when they cannot delegate work."

"Oh, it is simple. If they cannot Delhi Gate, they can Kashmiri Gate."

The Patriotic Boy's Hunger - Part 2

And what does the patriotic, modern, city boy say to his mother when she gives him two buns?


...


...?


...


Simple: "One दे, मातरम!"

The Patriotic Boy's Hunger - Part 1

What does the patriotic, modern, Kolkata city boy say to his mother when he feels hungry?


...


...?


...


"Bun दे, मातरम!"