Rebate

What is it called if you get tempted by a discount on a mousetrap, and then get a second discount as well?

A rebait.

Good acting

 Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston are considered to be fairly good actors.

Why?

Simple.

They are not the Pitts.

Deftnition

Deftnition

What do you call transsexual women?

Ex-men.

The trees on the side of the hills

There is this forest of oaks that grows in a hilly region.

Now, here's the thing: the trees on top of the hills, they grow pretty fast.
The trees at the bottom of the hill, down in the valley, they grow less fast, but still, fast.
The trees on the sides, though, have the slowest growth rates.

Why?

Simple.

They are slope oaks.

Deftnition

Deftnition: a daffy, deft definition

Overwhew

(o-ver-wh-ee-u, usually said with a great sigh)

n. The relief expressed at finally finding the summary.

A great many people in offices panic when the boss wants a summary which they were dead sure they made and sent to the boss at least 10 days ago, but the email seems to have been lost.

Deftnitions

Deftnitions aka daffy, deft definitions, continued...

Celeberation

(se-le-bee-ray-sh'n)

n. Calling all employees for a celebration of achievements, and then using the occasion to berate them for not doing as well as the boss really wanted them to.

This is common in all offices, particularly in the annual conferences!

The unmarried planets

All the planets in the solar system are unmarried.

But Saturn is engaged.


It has a ring.

Prophecies for vampires

Prophecy for Count Dracula:

"Your Days Are Numbered....!"

भौतिकी की कक्षा में

एक भौतिकी के छात्र के शिक्षक ने पूछा : "Relative speed क्या होता है?"

छात्र सोचने लगा, फिर उछल कर बोला: "मेरे रिश्तेदार बहुत तेज़ हैं!"

Deftnitions

Pun:
An abbreviation for 'punishment'

Raging about fair skin

When you don't understand this increasing anxiety about dark skin which leads to a demand for fairness creams, you bemusedly ask: "Why this kala worry, kala worry, kala worry, dear?"

Deftnitions

Concatenation:
The online country of legally guilty felines

 

(Con cat e-nation)