Monday, March 22, 2010

My first poll

So, I ran this poll recently:

What do you think of the jokes on this blog?
  • Fantastic! I laughed my head off. When is the book coming out?
  • Really good. I tell them to my friends and pretend they are mine
  • Good enough. I plan to bookmark this blog if I remember where I found it the next time I remember it
  • Pretty sad jokes. I tell them to my friends, after all, why should I suffer alone?
  • Really bad. I tell them to my enemies so that they die on the spot.
And, ... your favourite blog got all responses top-rated! Every single response to the poll was: 'Fantastic! I laughed my head off. When is the book coming out?'

Now, if only there was more than one response....
Sorry, people, the book is unlikely to be released any time soon.
But enjoy the horrible one-liners below.

Formal vs. informal dressing

Formal vs. informal dressing: some are pro-tie, and some are just untie.

Google Engineer's brainchild

How does a Google Engineer introduce his/her new brainchild to the world?

"Hi, this is my beta!"

Engineer's status message

Laziness is the mother of automation.

The dedicated emailer's status message

Lunch is just a few bytes away....

More Six Sigma One-liners

More six-sigma one-liners for the statistically inclined...

When unsure about what to do with the data, use simpler data.

When unsure about what to do with the data, use a giant flowchart.

When unsure about what to do with the data, test it to destruction.

When unsure about what to do with the data, formulate a good hypothesis.
Have plan B ready: formulate an alternate hypothesis, too.
If you are too confident (an alpha person), prepare for errors.

Less than 95% is underconfident.

Hal Varian quote - If you torture the data long enough, it will reveal whatever you want it to show.

Quote from my friend Suri: When unsure about data, get more data till every one is as unsure of it as you are!

Q: If Z is 1.96, what's the risk?
A: Arre beta, it's alpha.

Examples and causes -- ex and why variables.

Why are some variables called 'x' variables?
They are called 'x's' because there is an excess of them....

Equality is a null hypothesis.
Hmm, so is the alternative one-up-manship?

Fault Tree: The sacrificial plant deep in the forest, that takes all the blame.
TIM WOOD knows all about it...

Lean six-sigma: Will soon be 4.5 sigma due to prolonged dieting.

Lean six-sigma (sing to the right tune): what you want, where you want, when you want and how you want it...

Takt time: diplomatically finish things in due time.

Late for meetings

What do you say if someone calls to say they will be late for a meeting?

See you later.