The teacher asked, "What is the full name of the chemical KMnO4?"
The student chirpily replied, "It's potassium, magnesium and lots of oxygen!"
The teacher sarcastically asked, "If Mn is magnesium, what's Mg then?" Ha! Gotcha!
"Simple!" chortled the student. "It's milligrams!" D-uh!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wassup?
Three kids were walking down a road in Gurgaon.
You could clearly make out how much they were influenced by chat/SMS lingo when they passed a stray dog and one of them asked it, "Wassup?"
As the other two smiled, he answered for the dog, "NM*," and they continued walking.
When they reached the next dog, he again said, "Wassup," and also supplied the answering, "NM."
By the time he did this with the fourth dog (this is Gurgaon, remember, so there are no end of stray dogs), his friends were openly sniggering.
But when he passed over the fifth dog to go "Wassup?" at the sixth, they pulled his elbow and asked him why he'd left the previous one out.
"Oh," he shrugged, "that one is offline."
*"Nothing Much", for those who spend insufficient time online.
You could clearly make out how much they were influenced by chat/SMS lingo when they passed a stray dog and one of them asked it, "Wassup?"
As the other two smiled, he answered for the dog, "NM*," and they continued walking.
When they reached the next dog, he again said, "Wassup," and also supplied the answering, "NM."
By the time he did this with the fourth dog (this is Gurgaon, remember, so there are no end of stray dogs), his friends were openly sniggering.
But when he passed over the fifth dog to go "Wassup?" at the sixth, they pulled his elbow and asked him why he'd left the previous one out.
"Oh," he shrugged, "that one is offline."
*"Nothing Much", for those who spend insufficient time online.
Acid comments
Once there was a couple who lived away from major and minor settlements, in fact, bluntly, they lived in the jungle.
Over time, they started getting really famous for holiness, of all things. This seemed strange at first, since they were invariable short, snappish and downright vinegarish in speaking to any visitors or passersby.
However, as the people in the nearest village pointed out while they feverishly constructed a vast commercial sanyasi ashram complex to capitalise on the growing reputation, you knew how holy they were when you realised they were full of ascetic acid, and how wise and brainy they were, because, as they said, "यह सब सिरका कमाल है."
Over time, they started getting really famous for holiness, of all things. This seemed strange at first, since they were invariable short, snappish and downright vinegarish in speaking to any visitors or passersby.
However, as the people in the nearest village pointed out while they feverishly constructed a vast commercial sanyasi ashram complex to capitalise on the growing reputation, you knew how holy they were when you realised they were full of ascetic acid, and how wise and brainy they were, because, as they said, "यह सब सिरका कमाल है."
Friday, January 7, 2011
Jeans
एक बच्चा इसे देख कर बोल उठा, "मम्मी, मम्मी, मुझे यही jeans चाहिए!"
मम्मी बेचारी देख कर बड़बड़ाई, "क्या बीमारी है!"
(यह फोटो कानपुर में खींची है.)
True and false friends
One of the people I follow on Buzz posted this:
A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second, and stops the third.
That got me thinking:
A false friend sees the first tear, photographs the second, and posts the video of the third on YouTube.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
मेहनत
एक ढीला आदमी था। काफी ढीला था। और ऊपर से शेखियां अलग बधारता था।
इत्तिफ़ाक़ से उसकी शादी एक ऐसी औरत से हुई जिसके कई मेहनती भाई थे। तो उसका काम चलता रहा। भाई लोग उन दोनों के लिय बहुत कुछ कर देते थे।
एक बार उसने भाइयों को ऐसा फुसलाया कि उन्होंने उन दोनों के लिए एक आलीशान घर खड़ा कर दिया।
जब लोगों ने उसे बधाई दी, तो उसने विनम्र स्वभाव दिखाया और कहा : "हाँ, कई सालों की मेहनत से बनाया है..."
इत्तिफ़ाक़ से उसकी शादी एक ऐसी औरत से हुई जिसके कई मेहनती भाई थे। तो उसका काम चलता रहा। भाई लोग उन दोनों के लिय बहुत कुछ कर देते थे।
एक बार उसने भाइयों को ऐसा फुसलाया कि उन्होंने उन दोनों के लिए एक आलीशान घर खड़ा कर दिया।
जब लोगों ने उसे बधाई दी, तो उसने विनम्र स्वभाव दिखाया और कहा : "हाँ, कई सालों की मेहनत से बनाया है..."
Marketing a new beer
A beer company decided to make a new beer, very modern and non-traditional. They looked at all the ingredients, and decided to keep with malted barley and water, but do away with hops, because the hops they used were very bitter.
The new beer proved to be much healthier, and they were confident that they had a winner on their hands.
However, after the new beer launched, it completely bombed in the market.
Why?
Customers said it was completely hopless.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
New web portal for mathematicians
The web portal for mathematicians has recently been revamped. Now the interface is more natural and intuitive. So you don't necessarily have to log in any more.
You can also ln in.
....
The section for trigonometricists has been upgraded, too. While most of it is open to all, some sections require you to sine in.
For example, the Financial section now gives you loans. Depending on the amount, you may need someone to cosine your application as guarantor.
The Travel section offers you nice summer packages in the Southern Hemisphere in the coming months, where you can get a nice tan.
Some of these are really cheap, but they don't have beds. They only have cots.
Lastly, the World Clock application allows you to see two time zones at the same time. It not only shows you all the secs, but the cosecs as well.
....
For other mathematicians, the Finance section has loans. This month's special is targeted at Indian mathematicians. This is a special loan in British currency, which requires them to pay less than they borrowed. It is called the Com-pound (कम-pound) Interest Loan. (I suspect there are hidden costs.)
....
There is a bakery that sells special mathematical foods online with special discounts for mathematicians coming from the portal.
You can get a simple Pi, or you can get the Equation special, which is twice the weight, since it is the Expansion of Pi.
Cylindrical cakes with square tops and etched icing are sold by volume, not weight. These are called Pi R-square Etch.
....
Then, there is the Entertainment section, which has just finished showing the Matrix movies, and is the only website to advertise the three together as The Matrices. (You can also get a good discount if you are really determinant.)
It is currently running the new late-night horror series with thin actors called Boo-lean Alge-bra. It's not suitable for kids. You really don't want to know what happened to Alge's underwear.
You can also ln in.
....
The section for trigonometricists has been upgraded, too. While most of it is open to all, some sections require you to sine in.
For example, the Financial section now gives you loans. Depending on the amount, you may need someone to cosine your application as guarantor.
The Travel section offers you nice summer packages in the Southern Hemisphere in the coming months, where you can get a nice tan.
Some of these are really cheap, but they don't have beds. They only have cots.
Lastly, the World Clock application allows you to see two time zones at the same time. It not only shows you all the secs, but the cosecs as well.
....
For other mathematicians, the Finance section has loans. This month's special is targeted at Indian mathematicians. This is a special loan in British currency, which requires them to pay less than they borrowed. It is called the Com-pound (कम-pound) Interest Loan. (I suspect there are hidden costs.)
....
There is a bakery that sells special mathematical foods online with special discounts for mathematicians coming from the portal.
You can get a simple Pi, or you can get the Equation special, which is twice the weight, since it is the Expansion of Pi.
Cylindrical cakes with square tops and etched icing are sold by volume, not weight. These are called Pi R-square Etch.
....
Then, there is the Entertainment section, which has just finished showing the Matrix movies, and is the only website to advertise the three together as The Matrices. (You can also get a good discount if you are really determinant.)
It is currently running the new late-night horror series with thin actors called Boo-lean Alge-bra. It's not suitable for kids. You really don't want to know what happened to Alge's underwear.
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