मेरी तेरी

एक दम्पति भारत दर्शन के लिए निकल पड़ा। साथ थे उनके बच्चे, और बच्चों की दादी और नानी। नानी को ले जाने की आदमी ने ठानी थी, और दादी को ले जाने का उनकी पत्नी का सुझाव था।

नए शहरों में दादी को काफी तकलीफ हुई, और वह चिड़-चिड़ी हो गयीं। कुछ देर के बाद आदमी से अपनी माँ का व्यव्हार सहा नहीं गया। कहते तो क्या कहते? हरकतें तो उन्ही की माँ कर रही थीं।

कुछ दिनों तक चुप रहे, पर फिर अपने को रोक न पाए। माँ को तो कुछ कह न सके, पत्नी पर बरस पड़े: "देखो! मेरी सास कितनी शांति से चल रही है - तुम्हारी सास हमें कितना तंग कर रही है!"

Girls, boys, and other kids

Overheard this conversation yesterday:

She: "Growing kids need cholesterol. It's only bad for adults."
He: "Till what age do they need cholesterol?"
She: "Till they are growing. 25 for boys, 20 for girls, I guess."
He: "Hmm. And what about kids?"

आज का खाना

आज दफतर में दोपहर के खाने के लिए जब कैन्टीन गए, तो देखा कि सब लोग रोटी-सब्जी खा रहे थे, पर मेघा केवल आम खा रही थी। मुँह से निकला: "रोज़ तो मेघा ख़ास खाना खाती है, आज वह आम खाना खा रही है..."

Eyjafjallajokull volcano

यह volcano तो ash कर रही है! पूरे Europe पर छा गयी है!

Flowers for funerals

Person at funeral: Why are lilies always so popular at funerals?
Botanist: Because they are moan-ocots.

Running for the last bus

There was this dedicated computer engineer, who used to sit and work really late. He'd got into the habit of catching the last bus home. Often, he used to almost miss it, and had to run really fast to the bus stop to catch it.

Now, one fine day, the timings for the last bus were changed.

Our man, being a dedicated engineer, forgot about this change. So, one night, he ran out as usual to the bus stop. When he reached there--no bus.

"Rats!" he muttered. "I've lost connectivity to the bus because of a run-time error."

The next day, he came to work in running shoes instead of his usual sandals.

"After all," he mused, "re-booting is known to fix run-time errors."

Credits: Thanks to DS for suggesting the fix!

My first poll

So, I ran this poll recently:

What do you think of the jokes on this blog?

• Fantastic! I laughed my head off. When is the book coming out?
• Really good. I tell them to my friends and pretend they are mine
• Good enough. I plan to bookmark this blog if I remember where I found it the next time I remember it
• Pretty sad jokes. I tell them to my friends, after all, why should I suffer alone?
• Really bad. I tell them to my enemies so that they die on the spot.

And, ... your favourite blog got all responses top-rated! Every single response to the poll was: 'Fantastic! I laughed my head off. When is the book coming out?'

Now, if only there was more than one response....
Sorry, people, the book is unlikely to be released any time soon.
But enjoy the horrible one-liners below.

Formal vs. informal dressing

Formal vs. informal dressing: some are pro-tie, and some are just untie.

Google Engineer's brainchild

How does a Google Engineer introduce his/her new brainchild to the world?

"Hi, this is my beta!"

Engineer's status message

Laziness is the mother of automation.